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The Polar Express (TheBenOyler Style)
Synopsis As Timon and Pumbaa watch the Polar Express inside the theater, Timon and Pumbaa retell the story of the movie from their own perspective. On Christmas Eve, a young boy sees a mysterious train bound for the North Pole stop outside his window and invited aboard by its conductor. They boy then joins several other children as they embark on a journey to visit Sants Claus preparing for Christmas. Now, with Timon the Meerkat and Pumbaa the Warthog joining in for the ride, our young boy embarks on a journey of self-discovery which shows him that the wonder of life never fades away for those who truly believe.... Airings November 10, 2004 (Theaters) November 22, 2005 (Videocassette and DVD) November 29, 2018 (The Polar Express 1½ and Only in TheBenOyler on YouTube) November 20, 2019 (The Polar Express 1½ Re-release and in Ghibli Fan on YouTube) Transcript Timon and Pumbaa at the Cinema: The Polar Express {The video begins to show the Warner Bros. Pictures logo. Next comes Castle Rock Entertainment and Shangri-La Entertainment made of gold and covered in ice. The video then show the film's title.} Pumbaa: I gotta tell you, Timon. These logos are made of gold me right here this Holiday season. Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa... Well, enough of that. {He holds up a remote control and begins fast-forwarding through the movie} {Camera pulls back to show Timon and Pumbaa in silhouette in a row of theater seats, Mystery Science Theater 3000-style.} Pumbaa: Uh... Timon, what are you doing? Timon: I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in! Pumbaa: {aghast} But you can't go out of order! Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote! Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused! {He grabs a second, bigger remote} We gotta go back to the beginning of the story. {He begins rewinding the movie} Timon: We're not in the beginning of the story! {He pauses the movie after a monkey screech, the movie begins fast-forwarding again} Pumbaa: Yes, we were! The whole time. {rewinds; the film reverses with a squawk of confusion} Timon: Yeah, but they don't know that! {indicates the audience; switches the movie direction again, after a lion-roar sound} Pumbaa: Then why don't we tell them our story? {pauses the movie on a scary close-up of the Ebenezer Scrooge puppet; Timon and Pumbaa both shriek and dive under their seats} Timon: {slowly re-emerging} Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell him our story? Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that. Timon: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a revealing and intimate look at the story within the story! Pumbaa: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even though they didn't know we were there, you know? Timon: Couldn't have said it better myself! {rewinds the movie again} Pumbaa: So does this mean we're going back to the beginning? Timon: {melodramatically} Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. We're going way back... to before the beginning. When I Was Young... Timon: Pumbaa, how can a town be proud? It's a town! Pumbaa: Well I think it's because a town is what they call a group of people. Timon: Oh, sure. The people get a nice little town. And what about us meerkats? Where I come from we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why: {clears throat; singing} When I was a young meerkat... Pumbaa: {singing} When he was a young MEERKAT...! {blows Timon off his seatback} Timon: {peevishly} Very nice. Pumbaa: Thanks! Timon: But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from. Pumbaa: Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up? Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. But it ain't pretty. Please remain seated while the camera is in motion. Pumbaa Sitting on the Remote {The Polar Express is interrupted by a trailer for Cars.} *From the creators of Finding Nemo and the Incredibles* Lightning McQueen: California, here I come! Lightning McQueen: Woo-hoo! Lightning McQueen: Faster than fast, quicker than quick, I am Lightning! (suddenly Lightning spins out of control and hits a bush of cacti) Ramone: Oh, man! Fillmore: Woah! Doc Hudson: Hook him up, Mater! Mater: (laughs) Lightning McQueen: Where am I? Mater: You're in Radiator Springs, the cutest little town in Carburetor County. Timon (in background): Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote! Pumbaa (in background): Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie. Filmore: How about some organic fue... (Pumbaa changes the channel back to the Polar Express.) No Fortune Cookies Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient jobless train man right on cue. Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {clicks the remote; the movie resumes} Look Fat Pumbaa: You really think I look fat? Timon: {sighs} Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig! It's a compliment. Pumbaa: Thank you. Pumbaa Pauses The Polar Express to Get Some Grubs Pumbaa: You mind if I pause it for a second? Timon: Sure, go ahead! Pumbaa: Be right back. {walks off of his seat leaving Timon alone, but picks his nose and turns back and forth, and puts it on the seat and comes back} Okay, I got the Jumbo so we can share! {notices Timon} Were you just picking your nose? Timon: No. I had an itch on the inside! Where's The Grub? Timon: {quietly} Pumbaa... where's the grub? Pumbaa: Puhh. {opens his mouth; the ladybug staggers out, all mauled up} Timon: {exasperated} Ohhh. You just can't help yourself, can you? Pumbaa: Sorry. Timon: Okay... but this time, show a little self control. Running Timon: What was with the running? If you can call that running. Pumbaa: I was giving you time to catch up! Timon: You big lug. Timon Crying Pumbaa: Timon, are you crying? Timon: I'm fine! {sobs} I just have something in my eye! Pumbaa: Here, blow. Timon: {blows his nose with his own tissue and hands it} Here, Pumbaa. Pumbaa: Gee, thanks! Timon: Okay. I'm better! Timon and Pumbaa Rewind The Polar Express {The closing credits begin rolling and we see a shot of snowflakes falling.} Male Singer: Children sleeping, snow is softly falling Dreams are calling like bells in the distance We were dreamers not so long ago But one by one we all had to grow up When it seems the magic's slipped away, we find it all again on Christmas day Believe in what your heart is saying, hear the melody that's playing There's no time to waste, there's so much to celebrate Believe in what you feel inside and give your dreams the wings to fly You have everything you need if you just believe If you just believe (x3) {More credits begin to roll. The credits add scrolling, such as the song itself, "When Christmas Comes to Town", "Hot Chocolate" and the final song to what that was called in the score.} Timon: {narrating as the camera continues to truck out, ending with the silhouettes and the theater seats} Well, that's it. The big wrap-up, the happy ending, the grand finale. Pumbaa: {whimpering} It's over already? Timon: Well, Pumbaa. That's the thing about endings. They come at the end. Pumbaa: {brightening} Ooh! Can we watch it again? Timon: Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow. Ma: {entering in silhouette} Hey, what are you guys doing? {gasps as she sees the screen} You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch too! Timon: Ma, we just finished. Show's over. Ma: Well, you're just gonna have to rewind it! {She grabs Pumbaa's big remote and begins rewinding.} Timon: {pained} Ma! Ma: {calling offscreen} Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie! Timon: {despairing} Oh, no! Uncle Max: {entering, carrying a box of popcorn} Hey, I brought extra butter. Simba: {entering, walking along the seatbacks} Hey, you guys are watching the movie? Rafiki: {swinging in on vines} Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Any story worth telling is worth telling twice. {The silhouette of Mickey Mouse walks in and sits down.} Timon: What the... {Snow White comes in, followed by the Dwarfs.} Snow White: Oh, excuse me... Happy: 'Scuse me. Sneezy: 'Scuse me. Doc: 'Scuse me. Sleepy: 'Scuse me. Bashful: 'Scuse me. Grumpy: Get outta the way. Timon: Who is this crowd? {The Genie flies in and sits down in the middle, followed by Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet; Belle, the Beast, Mrs. Potts and Chip, Lady and the Tramp, and the Hippo from "Fantasia" are also seated in this row.} Timon: Hey, down in front! {In another row, Goofy, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Donald Duck are sitting; Stitch crawls down the wall and jumps from head to head until he gets to a vacant seat.} Stitch: Oho! Goofy: Gawrsh! Stitch: Aloha! Donald Duck: {unintelligible squawking; he makes fists at Stitch} {In still another row, Quasimodo and Pocahontas sit at opposite ends of the row; Peter Pan flies in, followed by Tinker Bell, and imitates a rooster's crow. The Lost Boys all pile in, shouting. Switch to Timon's row, where he's holding two large bodies apart to keep them from squashing him.} Timon: Watch it! {straining} Unnnh! {Timon's row has Terk, Dumbo, Brer Bear, Mowgli, Baloo, the three gargoyles, and the th ree fairy godmothers from "Sleeping Beauty"; Terk and Victor the gargoyle squeeze together, and Timon squirts out from between them like a watermelon seed. He lands next to Pumbaa as the movie, still rewinding, nears the beginning.} Timon: {resigned} Okay, buddy. You win. Pumbaa: Sure you don't mind? Timon: {sincere} Hakuna Matata. {stops rewinding and sees the Warner Bros. Pictures logo again} Pumbaa: But Timon... {fades to darkness} I still don't do so well in crowds! Gallery Timon_and_Pumbaa_at_the_Cinema_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa at the Cinema: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_1_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #1: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_2_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #2: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_3_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #3: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_4_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #4: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_5_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #5: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_6_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #6: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_7_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #7: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Interrupt_8_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #8: The Polar Express Timon_and_Pumbaa_Rewind_The_Polar_Express|Timon and Pumbaa Rewind The Polar Express Category:Go!Animate The Movie Wiki Category:Timon and Pumbaa at the Movies Segments